\u201dMi se pare c\u0103, atunci c\u00e2nd vine vorba de gestionarea conflictelor, intervine nu doar felul \u00een care am fost obi\u0219nui\u021bi de acas\u0103, ci \u0219i c\u00e2t de mult ne-am educat pe noi \u00een\u0219ine de-a lungul timpului. Poate \u0219i \u00een ce moment ne prinde un conflict sau altul\u201d, spune o participant\u0103 la curs \u00een pauz\u0103, continu\u00e2nd, cum se \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103 frecvent, discu\u021bia care tocmai avusese loc \u00een plen. \u201dNu neap\u0103rat\u201d, replic\u0103 un altul, \u0219i procedeaz\u0103 la a exprima aceea\u0219i idee, \u00eens\u0103 cu alte cuvinte. Observ u\u0219oara ei ezitare, dar m\u0103 ab\u021bin s\u0103 intru \u00een vorb\u0103. Mai urmeaz\u0103 un schimb de replici, dup\u0103 care interlocutoarea spune, u\u0219or exasperat\u0103, \u201dP\u0103i \u0219i eu ce am zis?\u201d \u0219i se \u00eentoarce spre mine ca pentru o confirmare. \u201dCam a\u0219a mi s-a p\u0103rut \u0219i mie, c\u0103 practic sunte\u021bi de acord\u201d, le spun eu u\u0219or amuzat\u0103, pentru c\u0103 discu\u021bia \u00ee\u0219i p\u0103strase totu\u0219i tonul lejer. Participantul reia \u00een g\u00e2nd dialogul \u0219i recunoa\u0219te z\u00e2mbind c\u0103 a\u0219a este. \u201dChiar m\u0103 g\u00e2ndeam c\u00e2nd ai zis nu, oare ce am spus gre\u0219it?\u201d, exclam\u0103 ea, dup\u0103 care discu\u021bia se mut\u0103 spre alte subiecte.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201dUnde dai \u0219i unde crap\u0103\u201d, era o vorb\u0103 din popor pe care nu am mai auzit-o de ceva vreme \u0219i de care mi-am amintit cu aceast\u0103 ocazie. \u201dExist\u0103 un decalaj \u00eentre inten\u021bie \u0219i impact\u201d ar fi un mod mai modern \u0219i poate mai pompos de a spune acela\u0219i lucru. Ideea de fond apare \u00eens\u0103 des \u00een discu\u021biile despre comunicare, mai ales c\u00e2nd participan\u021bii realizeaz\u0103 un fapt \u00een aparen\u021b\u0103 banal \u2013 tindem s\u0103 \u00eei judec\u0103m pe ceilal\u021bi pe baza impactului pe care cuvintele \u0219i ac\u021biunile lor le au asupra noastr\u0103, \u00een schimb c\u00e2nd vine vorba despre a ne judeca propriul comportament lu\u0103m mult mai mult \u00een calcul inten\u021biile de la care am plecat. Or, inten\u021biile nu sunt automat transparente \u0219i, mai ales \u00een situa\u021biile \u00een care am dat \u00eentr-o parte \u0219i a cr\u0103pat \u00een alta, este nevoie s\u0103 depunem destul de mult efort de clarificare \u00een retrospectiv\u0103. Nu de pu\u021bine ori este nevoie \u0219i s\u0103 repar\u0103m, s\u0103 redres\u0103m discu\u021bia, poate chiar s\u0103 \u00eembun\u0103m cealalt\u0103 parte, ceea ce poate fi consumator de timp \u0219i energie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ce-i de f\u0103cut? Dou\u0103 lucruri \u00eemi vin \u00een minte, legate de comunicare. Nu putem umbla mereu cu inten\u021biile cusute pe m\u00e2nec\u0103, a\u0219a cum aveam noi, cei din genera\u021biile mai vechi, num\u0103rul matricol cusut pe m\u00e2neca uniformei de \u0219colar sau licean. Ce putem face \u00eens\u0103 este s\u0103 le clarific\u0103m \u00een timp real, mai con\u0219tien\u021bi fiind de impactul poten\u021bial al cuvintelor noastre. De exemplu, \u201dDe ce ai procedat a\u0219a?\u201d este o \u00eentrebare care poate pune u\u0219or interlocutorul \u00een defensiv\u0103, \u00een lipsa contextului. \u201dDe ce ai procedat a\u0219a? \u00centreb pentru c\u0103 a\u0219 vrea s\u0103 \u00een\u021beleg ra\u021bionamentul\u201d clarific\u0103 inten\u021bia \u0219i lini\u0219te\u0219te interlocutorul c\u0103 nu este vorba de o eventual\u0103 tragere la r\u0103spundere. Un alt lucru pe care \u00eel putem face este s\u0103 elimin\u0103m sau m\u0103car s\u0103 reducem din limbaj ace\u0219ti parazi\u021bi aparent inofensivi, cum era \u0219i acel \u201dnu neap\u0103rat\u201d, care se strecoar\u0103 din neaten\u021bie \u00een conversa\u021bie \u0219i de cele mai multe ori duc la ne\u00een\u021belegeri \u0219i la dezbateri sterile. Astfel putem contribui la un climat conversa\u021bional poate nu mai curat, mai iste\u021b, mai str\u0103lucitor, cum spunea o reclam\u0103 celebr\u0103, dar cu siguran\u021b\u0103 mai productiv \u0219i mai satisf\u0103c\u0103tor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Weekly Inspiration scris de Alina Doica.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u201dMi se pare c\u0103, atunci c\u00e2nd vine vorba de gestionarea conflictelor, intervine nu doar felul \u00een care am fost obi\u0219nui\u021bi de acas\u0103, ci \u0219i c\u00e2t de mult ne-am educat pe noi \u00een\u0219ine…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":9570,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[18],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/i-interact.eu\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9625"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/i-interact.eu\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/i-interact.eu\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/i-interact.eu\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/i-interact.eu\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=9625"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/i-interact.eu\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9625\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9626,"href":"https:\/\/i-interact.eu\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9625\/revisions\/9626"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/i-interact.eu\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/9570"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/i-interact.eu\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=9625"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/i-interact.eu\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=9625"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/i-interact.eu\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=9625"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}